Sunshine & Summertime

When all is said and done, the secret card hurts worse than the friend card.

2009-03-04T06:40:00.000-08:00

When all is said and done, the secret card hurts worse than the friend card.

Yet again, another guy who only wants me until something else comes back from the past or from the future.
Its not fair. Every guy I am interested in only wants me "secretly" and I agree until I realize how much it hurts and I cant tell them that.

Today I finally stuck up for myself and told one of them, a newer one. We had only been talking for about . . less than a week and he said that his heart is with another girl and that he shouldnt have been flirting with me in the first place. NO KIDDING!

When I told him he was atleast the 5th guy this year to pull this "secret" bullshit on me, he actually apologized and said he wanted to still be friends. Not fuck buddies. Just friends. Yeah, okay. Like I am really going to be nice to this guy now? He is the same as all the others and it hurts.

Now I look back on all the guys that I have told that I just want to be friends. Friends are better than someone wanting to keep you a secret. Wanting to sleep with you because they are afraid to tell their friends or someone else they have feelings for. An engaged man, A single man who loves someone who is in a relationship. What else? I could go on for days, but I want.

I just know it hurts.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

2008-11-27T12:55:00.000-08:00

Less than a month until my birthday and 20 something days until Christmas. I sure am thankful for my family & very few friends. I dont need a ton of gifts to make me happy or a huge party with lots of booze.

Just a few things to think about during this "holiday" season.

Boys, Boys, Boys

2008-10-27T18:54:00.001-07:00

And here lies my biggest problems..

CH- we break up, his mom wants me back in his life, i call him and he ignores my calls. he comes around when he feels like it and im sick of jumping back to him when something goes wrong. I am keeping my head up and staying single.

JD- the best guy friend any girl could ask for. will do anything, anywhere, anytime for anyone. constantly gets walked all over but still says strong and sweet. second guess myself as to why I am not with him and realize it will destroy our friendship.

JJ- great friend, but dont have any "feelings" for him or a relationship. just a great guy to bring around as a date or hang out with.

TC - lives way too far away but i feel that i could pack my bags and marry him tomorrow. we have so much in common and he never fails to make me happy.

BH - obsessed with me. doesnt understand when to back off. i really think he is a great guy, but i have such a hard time "controlling" him when we are out in public. he does not have the best manners, but he is a sweet guy

AP- another great guy. have fun everytime we hang out, even though he is so far away. he makes me laugh and does not try to take advantage of me. perfect boyfriend material, but already has a child of his own.

..... if only i could find a guy to date who is a combination of all of the above. until i find someone that makes me truely happy... I will stay single :)

And this, would be friendship :)

2008-10-24T22:46:00.000-07:00

ME (1:36:03 AM): im chopping my hair off in the morning
ME (1:36:06 AM): getting it colored black
ME (1:36:11 AM): and getting my nose pierced

"JD" (1:36:12 AM): WHAT!

ME (1:36:14 AM): no more holding back
ME (1:36:21 AM): i dont want to be me anymore
"JD" (1:36:27 AM): why not?

ME (1:36:44 AM): im hoping everything will change if i change who i am
ME (1:36:53 AM): no more being nice to guys
ME (1:36:59 AM): (except my JD)

"JD" (1:37:27 AM): dont pierce your nose

ME (1:37:35 AM): i hate my nose
ME (1:37:44 AM): if i dont do my nose, im doing my nipples

"JD" (1:37:47 AM): pierce your nipple and dye your hiar black

"JD" (1:42:12 AM): im just waiting for you
"JD" (1:42:14 AM): black
"JD" (1:42:16 AM): blonde
"JD" (1:42:18 AM): nose
"JD" (1:42:21 AM): nipples
"JD" (1:42:28 AM): depressed
"JD" (1:42:31 AM): happy

"JD" (1:44:31 AM): and i'll always be your friend
"JD" (1:44:35 AM): just be*
"JD" (1:45:39 AM): i will be whatever you want me to be for you
"JD" (1:45:44 AM): friend
"JD" (1:45:47 AM): invisible
"JD" (1:46:24 AM): sugar daddy
"JD" (1:46:32 AM): enemy
"JD" (1:46:42 AM): boyfriend

A little Taste of Summer

2008-06-21T19:14:00.000-07:00

Summer has begun and Im not sure that its really feeling like summer yet.

I started both of my jobs babysitting for two families. Im working more hours than I am earning dollars, atleast it feels that way.

I need a vacation. Desperately.
My family is away, and im home (depressed).

All of the ties between me and friends from high school have totally let loose.
Any friends I made in college drifted away (except for one... thanks kelly!!).

Im thinking that I need a real job where I can meet people my own age.
Maybe switching colleges will really help me and I can make some new friends.
Let me rephrase that..I need to make new friends that are girls so I can get in a relationship that will last.

Relationships.. oh yeah. Lets not go in to that subject tonight, my night has not been all that great to begin with.

...so true

2008-03-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

It's easy to forget how perfectly life works out. When you are down, youbelieve that things never work in your favor. But if you look back, you seethat, in many cases, things happened exactly the way they needed to.

mom never told me there’d be days like this

2008-02-26T13:43:00.001-08:00

Mom spent the week in the hospital.
I am stuck at school and miserable.
Wish I could be there for her tonight though.

Miss you mom.
Love you and cant wait till after spring break.
xoxoxox

Superbowl..There is always next year.

2008-02-04T04:01:00.000-08:00

So as we all know, the Patriots lost the superbowl. :(

But, I was so glad that I knew the songs played during half time :)
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers were announced and I immediately called my parents.

ME: "Dad, can you believe that they are playing during half time"
DAD: "I know, maybe I will even stay away this year"
ME: " I really hope they play free fallin or atleast last dance with mary jane. you know, the video that has him dancing with the dead girl and then he throws her in the ocean when he steals her from the morgue"
DAD: "Yeah, maybe they will play free fallin"

As soon as free fallin comes on, mom texts me and says "I knew the wood play it just 4 u"

if she could text as well as she talks, we would be allllll set. Its okay mom, I love you even if you cant text. but you better learn quick if you plan on talking to me through texting more often :)

And as for the patriots, Tom Brady is NOT the star quarterback that most of the New England fans thought he was. However, he models just as well as he throws....Yeah Brady, NOT SO GOOD!! Maybe if he was not so cocky on the field and actually paid attention to where the ball was going... we could have scored another field goal or touch down... but NOPE he had to just get out there and "LLOOOKK GOOODD" which he definitly sucked at.

There is always next year and another star quarterback. ;)

..And I miss those Summer Days...

2008-01-30T14:57:00.000-08:00

This picture just makes me want to go fishing with the boyfriend. I miss summer so much :(

Hurry up, Summer!

Flip Flops, Sunshine, Late Nights with Close Friends, Fires and Ice Cream.

Please Come Back! :(

Our Growing Family (on both sides)

2008-01-25T11:16:00.000-08:00

3 new babies in the family and none of them are mine.

SM,TM and Hunter are expecting twins today. C-section was scheduled for today. Im very excited for them.

I didnt expect to hear that KH, JH and Dylan are expecting a child now either. But that wont be for atleast 8 months. They were trying though, and successs!!

Im not ready for children. At all.

But excited for all of their little ones to arrive.

A Kid with Class

2008-01-25T11:13:00.000-08:00

Apparently here at school, You have to be a cool kid to make friends.

Not all friends, but in new classes and such.

In order to be cool, you must be wearing Ugg boots and a North Face Jacket.
If you dont have either of those, you better be carrying your belongings in a Vera Bradley bag.

Otherwise.. your nothing. Maybe if you carry an Ipod or something?

I wouldnt know. I dont own any of this stuff. Imagine that? I feel so behind.

Taken from Sensibly Sassy....

2008-01-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

"Have you ever had a day that kept you on your toes? I am sure you have, so here is a better question: When is the last time you can remember having such a busy day?"

Today was definitely a day that kept me on my toes. It was my first day of my Spring Semester Classes at Bridgewater. I was very nervous and I had no idea where a few of my classes were or who my professors would be.

As i walked to my first class, with a huge pimple on my face, I had no idea where I was going. I walked into a dark room with 4 other girls. Then some guy comes and tells us that our room was changed, and I went to the other room. I took a seat in the back of the room and just kept to myself. I didnt meet anyone in that class and I really dont understand the professor. I hate how they joke and pretend they are so funny and laugh at their own jokes. Who takes Human Geography anyways?

My second class was fine. It was my english class and I had the same professor as last semester. After wandering the library looking for the class, I found it. Not only are my friends Britney and Kelly in there, but the class seems fairly easy.

Third class, located further across campus (almost on the opposite side) was not what i expected. The teacher was a complete weirdo who definitely has ADHD or something. The whole time he didnt pay attention. Then he just sucks at explaining the class and the syllabus.

Last class was my favorite. Not only are there 40 people in the class, but the teacher is sweet and I really am anxios to learn. I even did my homework as soon as I arrived back from lunch.

I also started to eat better. And went and walked the track before dinner. I want to lose atleast 5 lbs before my spring break with the best.

Ps. I miss the boyfriend so much. I hate being away from him.

Happy 2008

2008-01-06T20:21:00.000-08:00

I always say that I'm going to do something big on New Years eve, but it never happens. Kind of like how I've been saying I'm going to dress up for Halloween for the past 3 years, but we have yet to see that happen.

I guess I'm not a party animal type of person after all(unless I am depressed). I'm never really disappointed in what I do end up doing on nights like that. (Until this year) I'll usually choose a cozy night at home or with the boyfriend over going to some place crowded with strangers who know my parents, brother or other family members.

This year was different. I went out with my parents.

New Years Eve Morning was the car accident with my boyfriend, in his truck and he was driving :(
He was not at fault (according to myself, another witness and then the cops). Hopefully the woman is honest. She claims she didnt run a red light.

The morning started off with that and around 4 or 5 we came here to eat sketti for dinner. And we got in a fight because I hid from him that I had a guy friend over saturday night. The kid is a friend who joined the military and was home for the holidays. He stayed for an hour before I had to go babysit. My family spoke with him and then he left. Yeah, my whole family was here.

My boyfriend (ugh, now ex) broke up with me because this boy was at my house.

I watched my uncles band all night, holding tears back and just being "smiley" and fake. It was better than sitting alone (especially once the rum was flowing through my body) But I still want him back.

I do love him and I do want to make things work, but maybe it ended for a reason this time? I wish I knew the answers and if I was making a mistake by trying to make it all work.

New Years Resolutions.
Take things slower. Take time for me. Relax. Listen more, talk less. Smile more. Bitch less. Think for myself. Spend time with my REAL friends. Enjoy my spring break. Make new friends. Get SOMETHING out of this college experience. Lose some of this freshmen (10 not 15) weight. Stop being so afraid to go for what I want.

2008

2008-01-01T13:14:00.000-08:00

I have come to the conclusion that i have plenty of family and friends to lean on and i really dont need a boyfriend. im a big girl and i may get lonely, but its better to be lonely once in a while than controlled all the time. if this relationship doesnt work out this time then it just wasnt meant to be. its not worth dragging something on that is never going to work.

Resolutions include..

Lose 10 lbs
Eat healthier to be healthier
Try not to jump from one relationship to another. Give myself some free time and think about things. Dont rush it. Life is too short.

make the most of the best and the least of the worst.

2007-12-29T10:35:00.000-08:00

"Did you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many people have pictures of you, how many moments of other people's lives we've been in. Were we part of someone's life when their dream came true, or were we there when their dreams died? Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it."

Home For the Holidays

2007-12-15T08:18:00.001-08:00

Away from college for more than four days, even for more than a week.

Wow. Now that I think about it, im here for a month and.... 5 days. haha. It is nice but I'm already getting sick of the whole family.

Just to vent a little...

Maybe more than a little..

My parents drive me crazyyyy!! If my mother isnt complaining about some stupid "manly" thing my father is doing, then he is picking on her (to me) while she is washing dishes or doing laundry.

Neither one of them can hear what the other says (they are only in their early 40's) and they mumble to each other and to me and I have no clue whats going on.

My 17 yr old brother has NO curfew, got caught drinking and driving, crashed his car during a snow storm and they let him do whatever he wants... Hmmm, fair? NOT ReALLY, seeing I wasnt even allowed out after midnight when I turned 18. (AsSHOLES...i mean that in the sweetest way possible)

But anyway, Mexico this week should be beautiful and I will get a break from the arguing over chores and dishes and laundry and the dog. And I wont be crammed in a dorm room for over a month....woooohoooo!!

Deja Vu

2007-12-11T17:04:00.000-08:00

How many of you have been doing something and stop in the middle because it feels like you have done this before, exactly the same. Nothing different about it at all.

Yup, last night at the Emergency Room, thats how I felt.
As my boyfriend woke me up at 3am to have me go to the hospital, I threw on my only clothes,
slipped on my shoes and zipped up my jacket.

We drove to the hospital, it was silent.
We walked in the waiting room, complete silence.
The nurse took him in the room and I sat in the ER waiting room alone.

After a few minutes, the nurse came out and called my name.
I walked in and he was hooked up to two machines with stuff sticking out of his body everywhere.

I stopped and looked at him, laying there in pain.
Why did this sound so familiar and why was i in my least favorite place with my favorite person?

I hate the hospital.
I hate the winter, especially early in the morning.
I love Chris.
I love being there for him when he needs me.

I really dont like that Deja Vu feeling.
I hope we never have an early morning scare like that again (he is okay, just sore)

Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy

2007-12-06T07:18:00.001-08:00

I keep having baby dreams. Its beginning to get a little scary, especially the one from last night.

Walking through the grocery store, I looked at my boyfriend holding this beautiful baby girl in his arms and kissing her nose while her tiny little body shook and she giggled. As my eyes wandered around the store he played with this little baby.

Now, usually my boyfriend is great with children and is such a goofball, he can make them laugh in a heartbeat. But he doesnt want any of his own, not for a long time. And I am fine with that.

But back to the dream.. As we were in stores and back at our "home" he would talk to me about the "mother" of the baby. Obviously, it finally hit me and I realized the baby wasnt mine. He was so good with her because he was her only parent. The "mother" of the baby had left him with this beautiful little girl.

He was the type of father who was carrying her in the grocery store, talking to her in the back seat while driving down the road, bouncing her on his hip while cooking dinner for the family and talking on the phone. He reminded me of a Mr. Mom. But the baby wasnt even mine.

How could I fall in love with someone else's child??

Just a shitty dream all in all.

A snowflake is winter's butterfly

2007-12-05T16:52:00.000-08:00

The first flakes of the season are always a beautiful sight, especially when you are hoping for a class cancellation.

It has never felt this cold before though. Walking to class in the morning (opposite side of campus) is a friggin pain in my fat ass (that has grown since I arrived here at BSC)

I am packing up my dorm room and getting ready to head home for a little over a month. I am hoping it is an enjoyable time. I do miss my family and memories from home (okay, the boyfriend too I guess).

After my trip to Mexico (on my Birthday and Christmas) I will do a lot of cleaning and relaxing. I will go shopping too of course :) And enjoy my new gifts that I get for my birthday and christmas.

I also plan to do some crafty stuff with my mother while I'm home and relaxing :)

a best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have... be sure to hold on to it or you will lose it

2007-10-19T04:17:00.000-07:00

I never knew who or what I wanted when I started dating. After many “heartbreaks” and failed attempts, I realized the whole dating scene wasn’t for me. I wanted to get out, meet new people and find someone that I actually had feelings for. So many people date for sex, I wanted more.

I met my best friend Chris when I was only 17. He was 23 at the time. Everyone looked at our ages and frowned upon a relationship. When someone told me not to do something, I went for it and did it anyway. My parents supported me, and that was all that mattered.

After he asked me to be his girlfriend, I never wanted to go a single day without seeing him. I loved being in his arms, around him or even just wrestling on his living room couch. The relationship we had was nothing “normal”. To me, our relationship was something most people don’t have.

I can talk to him about anything, I can be myself around him and he is one of three people who can make me laugh no matter how down I am (the other two being my parents). Please, remind me again why we broke up? I want him back

Don’t settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can’t live without.

2007-10-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

I dont understand why he always comes back into my life when another man walks in. I invite other guys to come visit and he gets jealous. Then he wants to know when he will have his chance to come back into my life and he has his mother call me to talk about our relationship.
I love him so much, I can tolerate him and the sex is great. But is this what I really want?

"Dreams never really come true"

2007-10-10T04:28:00.000-07:00

I hope my past couple dreams never come "true".

In two weddings in one day.
My cousins husband is my date, and we made out.
I wore one dress on top of the other.
Not only was I pregnant, but got attacked by RATS and BIRDS in the dressing room.

Is this some kind of sign?

Teen Pregnancy Paper

2007-10-03T18:20:00.000-07:00

A phone call at two in the morning is never good news. When the first thing you hear is sobbing, you suddenly become worried. The first words out of her mouth were “I’m pregnant”. I could not even speak because I didn’t know how to respond. The feeling of fear ran through my body. The only thing I could think about is this is my best friend and her whole life is going to change. Will our friendship change too? From that day on, I promised to stay by her side no matter what she went through. Our other friends walked away from her and became embarrassed.

As my friend went through many physical and emotional changes, I knew I couldn’t walk away on her. The situation was complicated for me too, because I didn’t know how to handle certain situations. Our regular shopping trips changed to shopping for maternity clothes and baby clothes. We made more frequent stops for late night ice cream and many other munchies. We still spent a lot of time together, but the friendship definitely changed.

During the eighth month of her pregnancy, she was becoming sick and her small figure could not handle the stress. Things were not going well with her and the father of the baby, so I would always get phone calls through the day and all hours of the night. Every time my phone rang, I would get in the car and pick her up. I would bring her to my house for the night, or to her parents. If her boyfriend was working, I would sit on her couch and talk to her until she stopped crying or fell asleep. For some foolish reason, she always went back to him. She didn’t deserve this. She was having his child and he treated her like she meant nothing to him.

One night when I was not feeling well myself, I received the worst call. I heard her crying and couldn’t understand her at all. The only words I heard were “please come get me” and “I’m so sorry”. I heard fear in her voice and didn’t know what to do. I ran out the door just after midnight, not fully awake and drove to the apartment she lived in with her boyfriend. On the ride there, my body was trembling. What if he was hurting her? What if he comes after me? I was almost relieved when I saw blue lights as I pulled into her driveway. There were police cars, people and my best friend. I didn’t ask any questions, I knew this wasn’t the time.

That’s when I heard the police officer say “domestic abuse.” Another officer walked over to me and told me that I needed to bring my friend somewhere safe and let her calm down. She walked over to me, escorted by another police officer. He didn’t ask who I was, or where I was bringing her. Something happened to this poor young girl, and they were just going to let her leave with some stranger? I really didn’t understand.

We drove to my house, there were no words exchanged, just the sound of her crying and sniffles. I watched her rub her stomach as tears rolled down her face. As we arrived at my house and sat in the driveway, she started to talk. She wanted to tell me what happened but couldn’t. She hugged me and asked “How could he?” I obviously knew at this point that something happened between her and her boyfriend. But I still didn’t know exactly what. We sat in the living room as she cried and attempted to explain to me what happened that night. She said her biggest fear was losing the baby because her boyfriend was hurting her physically and emotionally. She was telling me the things he had done to her, and I just became so angry.

My best friend has become a mother. She also married the father of her baby. Since the birth of her baby boy our friendship has grown stronger. She still deals with the abuse and neglect of her husband. She continues to tell me what happens and I don’t care to know. I constantly worry about my best friend and her son. But she chooses to stay in this situation. During her pregnancy, we both went through a lot as friends. I have learned from my best friend’s mistakes and for this I am grateful. I’m very fortunate to have this friendship and knowing that we have each other to rely on makes it even better. Having a child definitely changes a relationship between teenage friends, but it is one learning experience that I will never forget.

Don't let the past hold you back, your missing the good stuff...

2007-10-01T04:13:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt scared by change?

Everything is changing lately. The leaves, my body, my schedule.

The season of fall is coming. The cool air, the beautiful leaves. And of course, the talk of Halloween. I never really got into the season of skimpy outfits in the cold weather and running to random doors down the street screaming "Trick or Treat" and running away with fistfuls of candy.

Now that the cool air is coming, its an opportunity to wear cute clothes, cuddle more and always be comfortable :) No more flip flops, sandcastles or beach days :(

My schedule may change for the better in a few weeks, but taking this babysitting position might just be the death of me. We will see what happens. Hopefully its not as bad as it seems.

Lots of walking in Boston

2007-09-30T19:11:00.001-07:00

Cannolis in the North End, Hard Rock Cafe, Walk through Quincy Market & Fanueil Hall...

Flip flops on the cobblestone, watching all the weirdos at night, seeing the "markets" on the side of the streets and all the other memories.

Only during an afternoon/early evening with Daddy and Brad in Boston :)

Did I mention I got a free glass, cannolis and lots of giggles out of this trip :) Love those two men!!

Turning Over a New Leaf

2007-09-28T14:08:00.000-07:00

This whole school thing may not be so bad..Depending on whose point of view you see it from. You definately dont want advice about college from a freshman. Almost all the people that I have met do not like college and want to go home.

At this point, I would love to pack up everything that I bought for college and go home. If there was SOMETHING back home for me. I have nothing special back at home, other than family and a boy who always puts himself first and doesnt know the first thing about having a girlfriend. Im trying so hard to keep reminding myself that I wont be any happier when I am back at home.

The only thing different about home is that I wouldnt have to share a room, or a dorm with 800 other people. I would only be sharing a house with 3 other people and 2 animals. That wouldnt be so bad. I really want to go home.

Dad is coming to visit tomorrow and we might go spend the day in boston. THAT would be fun. Lets just wait and see if that really happens. I am pretty excited to just get out of the dorm and go somewhere other than my dorm room or the cafe.

College is not as easy as A-B-C

2007-09-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

Move in day went really well. Until my parents decided it was time for them to leave. Never have I felt so distant from my own family. I wouldnt let my father go. I cried before they even left and still because I feel lonely. Days are shorter, and countdowns till I go home seem to go quicker. Friday is my first time going home since I moved into my dorm room.

My roommate is not a total sweetheart like I had hoped she would be. Being an only child and living with your mother and grandparents seems to be a luxury. Her friends and family visit frequently and choose totake over our room. It gets to be annoying, but shes not a raging alcoholic that pukes everywhere :)

The social life is getting better. I am making friends (male and female) and I have not been as shy as I had expected. I am having a hard time sticking up for myself though and getting walked all over.

My classes are not that bad. I am glad that none of my teachers totally suck. My math is Freshman Skills and then US History, then my William James Freshman Seminar. And on Tuesday Thursday, I have Writing/English for an hour. I wake up early, get out of class early, but definately dont go to sleep early.

College life gives a whole new meaning to Thirsty Thursday. I thought it was bad at home on a Thursday night, boy was I wrong :) Thirsty Thursday here is wild and everyone knows it. I am going to eventually get my ass out there and "party my ass off or dance on the ceiling" as my cousin justin said.

I have talked to a few close friends and family since I have been here who have given me some great advice. The RA's are friendly, but not very helpful. I hope that changes eventually.

This weekend should be fun and I will be updating more now that I found the link to update my blog :)

Personality

2007-08-28T19:58:00.000-07:00

I appreciate the unpredictability of nature and like to live my life a little rugged and rough around the edges.

I've got a high sex drive and appetite for love, there's nothing like a little affection to give me a buzz. There is never enough time to love.

When it comes to holidays, relaxing and spending time with family and friends is what it is all about. I care deeply about family life and all that comes with it.

I like long, lazy, sunny days.

I like to live for today and not get caught up thinking about tomorrow.

When it comes to my living space, I have a cool and contemporary taste. My environment needs to be stylish and clean.

My idea of freedom is being in charge of my own direction. The open Road and a full tank can take me pretty much anywhere.

My Wishes

2007-08-28T19:37:00.000-07:00

I'd like to see when Adam met Eve and everything "began".

I'd like to wake up on a tropical beach where the sand is powder-white and the sea the deepest blue.

I really need to go travleing more more than I do, with no strings just the freedom to move and get away whenever or wherever I want.

I'd like to be an artist, really doing something new.

Id like to breathe underwater, and be gone in a flick of the tail.

It would be amazing to hang out on an island of my own in some far- off tropical sea, one never touched by human contact.

I'd like a tiger you can cuddle and who would make you feel safe from all harm.

I'd like a proper mixologist to make up special cocktails for all my friends at a party on a warm summer night out by the pool.

Sweatshirt Season..Sweet September

2007-08-18T13:51:00.000-07:00

Sitting here typing this update, im getting goosebumps. The cool October-like breeze is blowing at my back as I think about what im going to pack for college. I only have a little over two weeks left.

Next Saturday is my going away party and im super excited for that. I did some pre-celebrating last night with a close girlfriend and a guy friend of mine. Behaved myself too, only 3 malibu bay breezes. Definately gave me a little bit of a buzz, but I enjoyed myself.

I really dont have much else to update. Things are going really well for the most part. Just enjoying my last few weeks in this town, as much as I possibly can.

I've never met a mall that I didn't like

2007-08-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

After receiving another $500 for graduation money, I decided to head to a mall further from here.

Pheasant Lane Mall, Burlington Coat Factory and back to the mall closer to home. Not only did i buy a LOT of stuff, but I barely spent $150 of my $500.

I bought an Green Aero zip up sweatshirt, AE Artist Jeans, VS panties (6), Some panties and a sexy lingerie thing from Burlinginton, Tee from Urban Behavior and some bras from JCPenny. Of course all my bras and panties had to match though :)

Back to the beach

2007-08-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

I babysat the other day and made a little extra cash. So I decided to head up to the beach.

The ex really didnt want to come with me and said that I should just go with my cousin who is 10 years old. So I went up and met my best friend and her boyfriend who were camping. My friend and my cousin came with me up there to visit. We were at the beach from 11am till 3pm. It was beautfil. I definately got burnt.

Had a great day though and couldnt have asked for better weather. Looking forward to another trip to the beach.

Cuddly Campers at the beach

2007-07-27T09:06:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday night, me and the ex decided to take a ride up to the beach. My mothers family is there (camping) on vacation.

Wednesday was a terrible day. Got to work and got spoken to because my hair wasnt up the right way and the "board of health" had complained. Then I was spoken to for my shirt. Then i was told that we dont served "DROPPED" eggs, only "POACHED". By this point, I was ready to snap. Then my boss said some other things that really bothered me. I got home and called her to talk about quitting. I was very decent, and gave her my two week notice (hoping she would tell me not to come back). Just makes me sooo bad.

So I officially only have my two monsters on Wednesdays and Fridays now. Pretty scary because I am leaving for college broke. I am putting myself out there for babysitting now. Anytime someone needs me, I will be available cuz I realllly need the money.

Anyways...back to the beach. We arrived, did some fishing and swimming in the ocean. Then we had steak for dinner and went for a walk. On the ride home, we decided to stop and play mini golf at the cool dinosaur course. Then we played games with some dirty truck driver who refused to take his eyes off of me and the ex in traffice...hehe. We had fun.

When you love your job, you never have to work.

2007-07-21T11:44:00.000-07:00

In my case, my job sucks. Both of them actually.
Babysitting is going to kill me, while my waitressing job is pushing me to become crazy (even more than usual). If I end up wearing another splash of maple syrup, im going to lose it.

So its been a while since I last updated.
Much more shopping has been done, but nothing too exciting to write about.

Got some things in the mail this week.
My student loan was...denied...
My college bill came in... (Anyone want to pay $6,000?)

But the fun things, including my lap top and mouse, still have not arrived.
Not pleased with the postal company.

When i get tired of shopping, i sit down and try on shoes.

2007-07-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

Bed Bath & Beyond, Target, Kohls and an express Pizza Hut.

Got my adorable bed set

and some other things for my dorm room.

cups, shower caddy, clothes and of course a shopping trip is not complete without an adorable pair of shoes.

Road trips are measured by moments, not miles

2007-07-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

Spent Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur with the ex. The 3.5 hour ride to VT was awkward at first. Then after pointing out the retarded tree, we loosened up. Giggled and talked a lot.

Once we arrived, we did some fishing and four wheeling. A little bit of drinking, Madden and talking. Things turned out GREAT and the place we stayed at was beautiful.

The views were breathtaking and we even managed to find a beach.

Even though we arent back in a relationship, we are going to build our friendship back up and try to see where things lead us until I leave for school. At this point, I couldnt be happier because he is just so good to me as a friend. I couldnt ask for anyone better.

I love you not only for what you are, but for how i am with you

2007-07-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

Family cookout definately didnt go as planned. Lots of drinking was expected, a few fights is the usual...but not the car accident in front of the house. Kind of ruined everyones day.

Asked out to breakfast this morning, so I went and enjoyed it. Then asked to go on vacation for a few days. Can you say...curve ball?

I am going to pack my things, and cross my fingers. Lets hope this will fix things and end it all with a great friendship. I wont lie, I was waiting for a hug and kiss when he got here this morning.

live with no excuses and love with no regrets

2007-07-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

It took me a long time to tell my ex that I loved him. I still do love him, actually. Breaking up with him was the last thing that I wanted at the time.

Other guys now are trying to walk into my life and take his place. There is a void that wont be filled anytime soon unless there are some problems we can prevent in the future between me and my ex. I miss him.

Family cookout today though :) Kinda excited, I wont lie.

whats up doc?

2007-07-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

Sat the the doctors office for over an hour today to get my shots for college.

After the doctor filled out the forms and gave me the information on the shots that I was receiving, the nurse comes in and explains to me that the office is all out of the ones that I needed. How is that possible? ... So now they are going to call me back this week and see what day I can go there again to sit for an hour and be miserable.

In the end, it should all be worth it.

On a better note, Last night was a lot of fun. Spent some time with Courtney, J.J., Peterson, Jgrow and my brother. Warm weather, cold drinks and many games of pool.

When the sun goes down

2007-07-04T18:55:00.000-07:00

A little sunburned still from Sunday. Really glad its going to rain for the next 3 or 4 days.

Looking forward to the family get-together on Sunday afternoon though. Even after a Graduation, Shower, Baccelorette party, and Wedding over the past 2 months, I still feel as though I havent seen my own family enough.

After September, I wont see them until Christmas. Its amazing how quickly the time goes by though. Only two months from today I will be sitting in class thinking about my summer.